Merry Hanukkah

HELLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOO PEEEEEEEEOPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLEEEE! Merry Hanukkah! Oh, I'll explain the Jewish holiday thing. I'm not Jewish. I'm barely Christian! But Joey-Joe is Christian, yes sir. And the Maxples don't want their holiday to be all about gifts, so they can't properly celebrate Christmas (Like I intended to). So they decided to celebrate Hanukkah, which isn't anything to do with gifts. Now, Christmas morning, I expected to wake up, find a lit tree, presents, waffles (traditional Xmas breakfast), and a happy family. But what I saw was Joey-Joe's ceiling and a bright light. Ugh, oh yeah, I'd spent the night at Joe's. Ugh, he had the window open. I climbed down the bunk bed and got on some slippers. I went into the living room and found a gift thrust in my lap. I was to tired to open presents, and they would NOT give me coffee! Ugh, I need coffee! It's not fair! Well, I got some juice and then opened my gift. How nice. A...computer keyboard???? Joe said he picked it out because he knew how much I love to write. I knew he was proud, so I didn't bother to tell him you need the computer to actually accomplish anything. Well, from Miley I got a Miley gift: A jumbo pack of home-made chocolate cream balls. I tried one. Yucky! But I had to gulp it down. A note from Joe read:

"Just eat them all. Be polite for once, Ricky."

Nice. My best friend tells me a "For once". Holiday cheer. Well, I ended up having to gulp down all of them. And then dinner: An ugly, ugly, broccoli, bean, and tofu casserole, with mashed sweet beans on the side, with buns made of potato flour, and a whole heap of terrible, gross, deplorable, disgusting, tofu-meal pudding with celery cream and cinnamon. I got the biggest servings. (Lucky me, lucky me!) Oh! I felt sick! I had to run to the bathroom. I had gained five pounds (Figures) and I used the bathroom right away. All that night I was throwing up chocolate cream and potato-flour buns. Jamie took me home, and I was saved. I opened all my gifts. I got a cell phone, Itunes gift card, the usual fourteen-year-old Xmas stuff. Joey-Joe called me later. He apologized for everything. He is SO overdoing. Well, that's about it for my not-so-holly-jolly Christmas. Bye.