Merry Hanukkah

HELLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOO PEEEEEEEEOPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLEEEE! Merry Hanukkah! Oh, I'll explain the Jewish holiday thing. I'm not Jewish. I'm barely Christian! But Joey-Joe is Christian, yes sir. And the Maxples don't want their holiday to be all about gifts, so they can't properly celebrate Christmas (Like I intended to). So they decided to celebrate Hanukkah, which isn't anything to do with gifts. Now, Christmas morning, I expected to wake up, find a lit tree, presents, waffles (traditional Xmas breakfast), and a happy family. But what I saw was Joey-Joe's ceiling and a bright light. Ugh, oh yeah, I'd spent the night at Joe's. Ugh, he had the window open. I climbed down the bunk bed and got on some slippers. I went into the living room and found a gift thrust in my lap. I was to tired to open presents, and they would NOT give me coffee! Ugh, I need coffee! It's not fair! Well, I got some juice and then opened my gift. How nice. A...computer keyboard???? Joe said he picked it out because he knew how much I love to write. I knew he was proud, so I didn't bother to tell him you need the computer to actually accomplish anything. Well, from Miley I got a Miley gift: A jumbo pack of home-made chocolate cream balls. I tried one. Yucky! But I had to gulp it down. A note from Joe read:

"Just eat them all. Be polite for once, Ricky."

Nice. My best friend tells me a "For once". Holiday cheer. Well, I ended up having to gulp down all of them. And then dinner: An ugly, ugly, broccoli, bean, and tofu casserole, with mashed sweet beans on the side, with buns made of potato flour, and a whole heap of terrible, gross, deplorable, disgusting, tofu-meal pudding with celery cream and cinnamon. I got the biggest servings. (Lucky me, lucky me!) Oh! I felt sick! I had to run to the bathroom. I had gained five pounds (Figures) and I used the bathroom right away. All that night I was throwing up chocolate cream and potato-flour buns. Jamie took me home, and I was saved. I opened all my gifts. I got a cell phone, Itunes gift card, the usual fourteen-year-old Xmas stuff. Joey-Joe called me later. He apologized for everything. He is SO overdoing. Well, that's about it for my not-so-holly-jolly Christmas. Bye.

Time for my monthly post

I've noticed that I've posted about once a month for a while. Isn't that weird? Well, I hope no one's going anywhere, because I have a lot to talk about. First, let's cover some reasons why I don't post very often. Cass has been really busy lately. She's been going to these football games with a bunch of kids, and she hasn't been taking me to Bible study at her cousin's. Also, another reason is blogfest. She's been using up all her time planning and blogging really long posts. But today I complained and she said, "Fine, Ricky, one post. The WOC is back." So, I have a ton to cover with you.
Okay, so school is going OK. I'm in the cafeteria, posting now. Because, sometimes my teacher doesn't want me to just type all day. Joe just asked what I'm doing. I said blogging. Okay, Joe wants to say something. Joe says hi. Oh, news flash. Cass just said she has to post now. TTYL. For another month!

YEEEESSSSS!

HA ! I'm taking over your blog! HA AAA!
HELLO! My name is Treasure, whom my brother has refereed to as spoiled, rotten, and evil. Well, it's payback! I'm taking over Ricky's story! Until my dad finds out, that is. Anyways, here's a hint. Don't listen to a single thing my dorky brother says.
Hey! What're you doing? This is my blog!
Not anymore, dumbo! Cassidy gave me a membership, and I can post on any blog I want. On this account.
Then go torture WOC2 or something. Cassidy! CASSIDY! HELP!
Treasure, if you want your own blog, I'll make you one. But, not today. I have blogfest to plan. Now behave or both your memberships will be terminated!
Okay, now that that's taken care of, now I can blog.
No you can't! I have to blog today! Blogfest's on! UN-discontinued.
Alright then! Until AFTER blogfest then. Bye.

A klutz on the job

Today I headed over to Yumburger's after school and put on my uniform. I started taking orders like a pro! I was delivering a Yum-DE-Lux burger and a huge strawberry shake over to this nice family out to dinner. I was graceful and sufficient, when suddenly, TREASURE WALKED IN THE DOOR! I saw him and my eyes must have been as big as balloons. I didn't want Treasure to see me in my red polo and black pants and clean shoes and my hamburger hat. I began to sweat and my legs teetered. Then he said it, " Hey, geek! I need to talk to ya!" I wobbled so far I tripped, a good foot from the table. My face landed smack into that Burger and shake, just as Treasure reached me. I looked up. He was smiling. "Hi, Treasure." I said trying to get up and clean up before my boss saw me. I dumped it all in the trash and gave the family their order again. Treasure and I then had a 'little talk'. Treasure said Jamie had read my blog and found it 'insulting'. She had said that I should have self-confidence and not to call people 'geeks' or 'dorks' or 'idiots'. She said I shouldn't talk about girls in an 'inappropriate manner'. So, sorry geeks and dorks and idiots for calling you geeks and dorks and idiots. Are we even? Please, though, do NOT egg my house. Jamie would, like, kill me and think it was my fault because, "I'm the new chef in the family". Why can't Candy and Rocky stick to their spots? Oh, well, Jamie said we're going to Yumburger's as a treat, I want a Yum-DE-lux burger! Ciao!

Mwahaha!

My life is changing, big time! I got a job. I have a job at Yumburger's down on 46Th street. I'm the student waiter. I got picked in a raffle we had in class. The winner got a job, a hat with a hamburger on it, and a life supplies of burgers and Fry's! Isn't that awesome? Today was my first day on the job, and I love it! Five bucks and hour! Ka-ching-a-ling! Oh, more good news! Next fall, I'm going to HIGH SCHOOL! That's right! I'm going to be in 8Th grade next semester, so I get to go to George Washington High School with Rita. HA TREASURE WHO IS SADLY BACK FROM KENTUCKY! Doesn't that blow you away? It's cool, huh? And I haven't told you the bast part! I met with the principal (Mr. Jon) and he said that he would love to have me in the class.And he said that I could bring my laptop to class, and I operate this whole blog from my laptop! I can blog from class! And he showed me the seating chart. And I'm in the back row! WHOOP! So now I can hide behind another tall kid. In front of me is Krishnah, the girl I sit behind now. And she is tall ! So I have complete coverage. Nice, I know. Well, Jamie's calling me for 5 more minutes. Gotta make this quick before Jamie comes up here and shuts of my lapto- computer not in operation please try again

Ir's happened!

Treasure is now in the state of Kentucky, USA! He's staying in Nirlinia (Nir-lee-nee-ah), my dad's mansion in Corbin. He mailed me,Jamie, Katie, Nikki, and Buddy a postcard. Here's mine:

Dear Ricky,

I am very glad I am away from you. I do not miss you in the least! I am having lots of fun and enjoying not being in your pittiful preasnce. Cold reagard to Rita. Have a bad day ,looser.

Isn't Treasure nice? Real sibbling love. Here's Jamie's:

Dear oh lovely Jamie,

I miss you. I'm sure I'll be home soon. I am safe, happy, clean, and working hard each day. Dad does appriciate my help and will contact you.

Lasagna, YUCK!

Raf ame doer bis' shah tokay amt Leandra! That's native stuffed animal talk for " Hello dear humans and welcome to my lovely blog". I've had the worst two days of my life ! Yesterday I slept over Joey-Joe's house. Joe's family is health nutty. For lunch I expected something normal, like sand witches, pizza, pasta, meatballs. But Miley (the housekeeper) served me fish with a red sauce on it that tasted like ground peanuts and cheese spray. ( Joe told me it was 'Dorelle DA Miley", a sauce made of peanuts, chopped onions, celery, basil, ginger, fish blood and Carmel nuts. Yuk!) The fish was so sour! Later we did homework, puzzles (Boring!), read books, and listened to Joe's classical music Cd's. Joey-Joe wanted to play with his cuddly sheep (he has like 50) but I'm not going to go over my dorky limit. Then it was dinner. All the kids went into their rooms and changed into fancy clothes (dinner clothes) and we went downstairs. In the grand dining hall with a chandelier, huge long table, and wood carved chairs, dinner was served. All the girls kept giving me evil glances because I wasn't dressed up. Joe pardoned me and told his mom that I forgot my dinner clothes. Miley came in with dinner. It looked like a regular lasagna to me. I took a piece (very politely) and ate with my fork. After we said a blessing (or Kenna told God that she wanted a bike) I took a bite. It was disgusting! Joe must have seen me make a face and knew in an instant what was wrong. I didn't eat another bite. Later Joe told me why I didn't like it. It was rice pasta, with home-made sauce, NO MEAT, and lettuce. I gaged at the sound of it. Joe and I raided the fridge at night. I got all natural popcorn with no butter, and Joe had low-fat yogurt. We slept fine. The next morning, while I was dressing, I saw I hadn't got another shirt. So I had to borrow a plaid green and white shirt with buttons up the front. At breakfast, Tracey chuckled. At school, in native stuffed animal, we learned the native language. Gama ouzo! That means: I stink! Native stuffed animal is my worst class. Vamp, Jami De Petr. Volga loo! (Well, gotta go! Bye now!)

Crushes can crush you

So true! I have this crush on Bridget (the cute poodle next door) but there's a 5 flaws in our relationship. 1: She's a year older then me. I've never heard of love and the older woman. It's scary how young and gorgeous she looks for a true teen. 2: She's dating Treasure. How could my sweet love betray me for my known rival? Ah, but some day she will realize her inconceivable mistake. 3: She hates me. I think that may be a problem. If she doesn't come to her senses by age 2,000,845, I think I may die (In multiple ways). 4: Once she egged my house. That's a flaw if I ever saw one! 5: She said red hair is more like hair the color of seaweed. Yech! My love is strong for her beauty. I know, all my blogs are about a specific person. She will be mine when the day is done! By the time I die, if she has not kissed me, um, I'll die. That made no sense. Well, I am me. Not making much more sense. Um, let's talk more about her outstanding features. Like her pink curls. And dot black nose. And sweet curves in just the right places! She's the mighty girl for me. She's strong as an ox, and pretty as a parakeet, and sweet as relish, and talks with such charm, she's tough as a truck, but moves like a ballerina, she can insult like a sailor, but she sounds like an angel. You know what Joey-Joe told me yesterday? He said that if I was ever to get a date, the girl must be blind, deaf, mute, dumb, and crippled. The nit wit. I've had three dates in the past 14 years! There was the date when I was ten, with Vienna Denturenx the cow. She broke up with me when we got to the movie we were seeing ( Madagascar). Then there was the one when I was twelve with Bethany Philimport the pig. We went through dinner at McDonald's. Then we went to the candy store and bought licorice. On the way home I tried to kiss her (while riding a bike down interstate highway) but she fell off. The last one was last year with Kalila Fensefix the love frog. She was nice and comforting, until I ordered pizza (she was allergic to cheese) and she ran home and threw up. I'm romantic, aren't I? Bye!

The subject is Joe

My best friend is named Joseph Joe-Mark Edwards Kingston-Maxple. Ugh! Imagine a name that long! I found a very suitable nick-name for him when I moved here two years ago. Joey-Joe suits him very well, i think. When I moved here from Montreal, Canada, I was just eleven. A little kid, really. Treasure was only my age. Imagine me, running a house with twenty-four kids running' about! I had no friends except dear old Rita, my beloved twin sister. I had never met her except at birth, when she was kidnapped by a sales person! We were just pen pals at the time. Jamie, who was about thirteen at the time, suggested I roller-blade around Broadway. A great idea, I threw on blades, some jeans, and my best t-shirt. I was dashing out of our huge white house in an instant. I was curving around the bend ( we don't live on Broadway. we live on pleasant valley, witch is just a street from Broadway. On one side, it's apartments, on the other, it's huge, country houses. I live in Kingston manner, 333 pleasant valley, 02096) when i collided into a smart-looking monkey in corduroys, a stripy nylon short-sleeved shirt, and dress shoes. He had straight brown hair and dot brown eyes. Then he said the dorkiest thing ever. "Beg your pardon, sir." SIR??? An eleven year old boy, sir? I do not think so, my monkey primate! Joe was nine, a little boy. Of course, i was now on my back, since polite-o had smashed into me when I was blading. My arm was bleeding and my jeans were ripped. Me and Mr. Manners got talking. A couple more pardons, and he told me his age, yada,yada,yada, and i told him where i lived. Turns out we were neighbors. Joey-Joe was watching some educational thing on Broadway with his sisters Bridget, Tracey, Lora, and Heather and his seven-year-old brother Timothy. Joe was going home to check on the small children who with Oatmeal, 15, and Miley, 14, and Rowan, 10. He saw me the next day, when I was tending the veggies in the garden. WE chatted again (full of pardons) and I told him to live more freely, and that my name was Rick, not sir! Afterwards, we became good friends. Gotta go, almost Cassidy's dinner time and I don't want to miss chicken stew!

Something to say about Candy and Rocky

I have two evil little eleven-year-old siblings, and they are ridiculous. Candy and Rocky have changed, and they're still changing. Candy used to be all about baking. She made cookies, pies, cakes, tarts, scones, pastry's, muffins, and everything else. She was so cute! It is so precious when a cute five-year-old girl asks her big eight-year-old brother to try her scone. But now she's obsessed with fashion, and never let's us down with the 'ins' and the 'outs'. Next there's Rocky, the former chef. Rocky had a dream to be a famous chef. Wasn't bad, really. He was always cooking, watching cooking shows, memorizing cookbooks, eating new recipes, or outside on the grill. Few months younger then Candace, Rockefeller became abridged with style too, and the two are never without one another. They're the most judgemental dogs EVER.Now when we're hungry, we have to ask Jamie instead of going to Rocky or Candy's room. The house never smells good anymore, like the scent of fresh baked cookies, or a omelet on the breeze. The two just hover around the mall and talk about things. It's almost scary that one chick can get her ears pieced twelve times with the permission of her guardian, Treasure. Rocky has his done twice. Rita's done hers three, but I think it's gross and I'm never going to get them pieced. Never! I'm just gonna keep wearing jeans, red sweaters, sneakers, and b-ball caps. Anyways, all my red hair would get tangled in the earring. Hope I haven't offended any fashion diva's out there, bye!

The holiday's are long gone people!

The holiday's just past me and I am bewildered (Cassidy learned a new word. Look it up!). I am always trying to convince my family that I have enough money to go to Russia with my dad, who just re-located again. He, since I was born, has lived in twenty-two different places! Brazil, Turkey, Australia, Peru, Madagascar, Alabama, India, China, Japan, Korea, Mongolia, Mexico, Porto Rico, Canada, Iceland, Greenland, France, Spain, L.A., Switzerland, and now he's in Russia! But since he was five, he has touched every corner of the world. He's even told me he's been to the south pole! My dad gets his cash from two main sources: 1: His mine. My dad opened a gem mine when my mom was 'preparing' for Treasure. This mine had exactly seven-thousand billion gems! And people come to Arte', my dad's top gemmist, to see how much their worth! My dad went from Grammy-grammes basement, to a trillion! I am the richest kid in new york! It told me online! We all get a million dollar ALLOWANCE! 2: My Grammy-Grammy is also one of the finest scientist's in the world, and well, you get the idea. MILLIONAIRE! Well, for more info on my family, come back next time! See you all soon!