Crushes can crush you

So true! I have this crush on Bridget (the cute poodle next door) but there's a 5 flaws in our relationship. 1: She's a year older then me. I've never heard of love and the older woman. It's scary how young and gorgeous she looks for a true teen. 2: She's dating Treasure. How could my sweet love betray me for my known rival? Ah, but some day she will realize her inconceivable mistake. 3: She hates me. I think that may be a problem. If she doesn't come to her senses by age 2,000,845, I think I may die (In multiple ways). 4: Once she egged my house. That's a flaw if I ever saw one! 5: She said red hair is more like hair the color of seaweed. Yech! My love is strong for her beauty. I know, all my blogs are about a specific person. She will be mine when the day is done! By the time I die, if she has not kissed me, um, I'll die. That made no sense. Well, I am me. Not making much more sense. Um, let's talk more about her outstanding features. Like her pink curls. And dot black nose. And sweet curves in just the right places! She's the mighty girl for me. She's strong as an ox, and pretty as a parakeet, and sweet as relish, and talks with such charm, she's tough as a truck, but moves like a ballerina, she can insult like a sailor, but she sounds like an angel. You know what Joey-Joe told me yesterday? He said that if I was ever to get a date, the girl must be blind, deaf, mute, dumb, and crippled. The nit wit. I've had three dates in the past 14 years! There was the date when I was ten, with Vienna Denturenx the cow. She broke up with me when we got to the movie we were seeing ( Madagascar). Then there was the one when I was twelve with Bethany Philimport the pig. We went through dinner at McDonald's. Then we went to the candy store and bought licorice. On the way home I tried to kiss her (while riding a bike down interstate highway) but she fell off. The last one was last year with Kalila Fensefix the love frog. She was nice and comforting, until I ordered pizza (she was allergic to cheese) and she ran home and threw up. I'm romantic, aren't I? Bye!